i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
