Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Randomize
