I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
