I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Houston, we have a squirter
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize