Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Randomize