Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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