Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I checked into jail on foursquare
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize