I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
