im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
