My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
