Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
