with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I want to be your penis for a week.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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