I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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