I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
