dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
