I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize