I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
