Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
