bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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