East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I lost the right to judge tonight
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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