Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she smelled like a LAN party
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
