I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize