She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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