I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize