That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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