He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
