pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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