Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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