she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
this boner is exhausting
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
