i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
