next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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