But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
