I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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