We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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