Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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