thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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