The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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