I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Just invented taco cereal.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
