I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
