Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
