We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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