Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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