Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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