were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
