be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
