You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
