trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize