also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
