Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
