Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Randomize
