After last night, I could never be a politician.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
