It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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