i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
