She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
