when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
