Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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