it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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