Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
