wakey wakey hands off snakey
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize