You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
