who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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