i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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