It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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