i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
