dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
