my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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