i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
