i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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