nut hugger
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
