Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
